Unrefined

by Devinne Meyers

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about

It is what it says it is. Written, performed, recorded in my apartment. :)

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released December 20, 2013

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about

Devinne Binghamton, New York

Once upon a time there was a magical land called Binghamton, New York - but it wasn't the good kind of magical. It was always cloudy and would flood homes all the time, and the people of Binghamton were sad. UNTIL ONE DAY, musicians from the area would come out and SING and PLAY and MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY. Devinne is glad to be a part of this movement. :) THE END. ... more

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Track Name: I (Could Never) Hate You
You were a spark that could light up a dark sky
Like the fourth of July
You came and you went like a firework meant
For an evening of bitter goodbye

Through ashes and smoke, I looked for a sign
To tell me that we'd be alright
But a fountain of hope that you'd still be mine
Could not keep you in my sight

Baby, don't call me crazy
Just call me tonight and I'm fine
'Cause you never said why you left me for dead
Saying nothing's as good as a lie

I hate you, I love to say that I hate you
Oh I could never hate you, but still
The words on my tongue satisfy a heart wrung
Out to dry against its own will

It's been a long time and I know it's not nice
To play the victim like I've done
I know it takes two, don't know how I can prove
I've researched my mistakes, every one

Yes, it's true that I grew to impatient for you
You thought I was moving too fast
But darlin', that's my way of not wasting time
On a love that never would last

Baby, don't call me crazy,
Just call me tonight and I'm fine
'Cause you never said why you left me for dead
Saying nothing's as good as a lie

I hate you, I love to say that I hate you
Oh, I could never hate you, but still
The words on my tongue satisfy a heart wrung
Out to dry against its own will

I hate you, I love to say that I hate you
But it's not in my nature to do
But it dulls the pain, so while you're away
I'll sing it til I'm black and blue

(Interlude)

Baby, don't call me crazy,
Just call me tonight and I'm fine
'Cause you never said why you left me for dead
Saying nothing's as good as a lie

I hate you, I love to say that I hate you
Oh, I could never hate you, but still
The words on my tongue satisfy a heart wrung
Out to dry against its own will

I hate you, I love to say that I hate you
But it's not in my nature to do
But it dulls the pain, so while you're away
I'll sing it til I'm black and blue

I'll sing it til I'm black and blue
I'll sing it til I'm black and blue
Track Name: Grow
Today I'm alone
No one can hear me now
So I will not fight with my words
Just let 'em out

Just me, 23
But it feels like I'm 91
I've seen many things
That make an old man want to run

It don't stop me, I won't let it
It can't bring me down
But it's hard to lighten up when planted from the ground

So I will grow
I will grow

Outside it's a mess
No one with whom to confess
The job that I had
Filled me, now it's emptiness

All these questions, no one seems
To have an answer for
I can't help but feel like I was
Made for something more

So I will grow
I will grow

Like a yellow leaf on a maple tree
Oh, this old me will eventually fall
But before I go, I will recall
What made me stand tall

And I will grow
I will grow
I will grow
Track Name: Always Love Me (Guitar Version)
I didn't hear you leave, snuck out so peacefully
Unlike you, at night I sleep
Ever since that day, til the sunrise I'm awake
Maybe I can catch your gaze before you turn away

Why did you say you'd always love me, love me
Turned me into a fool and then you judged me, judged me
How did you break your words so easily?
Why did you say you'd never leave?

Minutes turn to days, can't remember your face
When was the last time that I cried?
And though we both moved on, I'm obsessed with what went wrong
Another mystery has yet to be undone

Why did you say you'd always love me, love me
Turned me into a fool and then you judged me, judged me
How did you break your words so easily?
Why did you say you'd never leave?

It was you, it was me, it was everything I couldn't be
It was you, it wasn't me, it wasn't me, was it me?

Why did you say you'd always love me, love me
Turned me into a fool and then you judged me, judged me
How did you break your words so easily?
Why did you say you'd never leave?

You never said you'd always love me, love me
It's just what I believed
Track Name: Gold
All my life I've seen
What it's like to live in a dream
That's why I would never wake
My happiness gone when dawn breaks

It was gold, it was gold, oh I know
So I'm told, so I'm told, oh I'm told

Who wants to be lost
In that fantasy world I've crossed
Made of gold, as I go, oh I know
It will all fade into morning's glow

Majesty, misery
The comfort of a dream
Oh I sleep as I leap
And everything is better than it seems
Company is all that I can't keep
So I awake to wish I was
Gold, Gold, Gold, Gold

Oh my hands, they feel so cold
And this life I can't control
So I fight to live another day
I can't hide, so I begin to pray
For hope that shines like gold
Reunite with all it can hold

Majesty, misery
The comfort of a dream
Oh I sleep as I leap
And everything is better than it seems
Company is all that I can't keep
So I awake to wish I was
Gold, Gold, Gold, Gold (x2)
Track Name: Envy
You caught him looking your way
And you smiled back at him
You swore you wouldn't fall head first
But this one's different
You're looking outside yourself
Cause he's got everything
Of what you want, and what's more, you'll do anything

Just to prove to you you're worth the kind of love that's true
It's no use when it's not the man that
Everyone has eyes for, anyone can dream
But you're the lucky one that he spends his nights with
That's how it should be, fueled by envy, you see

You know you've broken your own heart
When you settled for him
You're looking for attention
But he doesn't give it
Who is that woman he's laughing with?
And why can't you seem to deal with it?
And why isn't he like that with you?

Oh it's too good to be true and worth the kind of love that you
Could use, oh you got caught up in the man that
Everyone has eyes for, anyone can dream
And she's the lucky one that he spends his nights with
You can barely breathe, filled with envy, you sleep.

Oh, you wake up, and everything just hurts
'Cause he gave up, but you gave up yourself first

But you're the girl that everyone adores, anyone can see
And he's the lucky one that you spent your nights with
Now he's all alone, filled with envy he sleeps.
Track Name: This Line (Too much)
I know this line I'm crossing
I fell from it before
I almost saw the other side
Then I hit the floor
I grabbed his hand too soon
I thought he'd catch my fall
But there he was dancing in the air,
He couldn't hear my call

He barely knew me, how could he?

I give too much, I give too much
I give too much away
I give too much, I give too much
For you to want to stay

I know this line we're stepping on
My heart is pounding now
That could only mean one thing
It's bound to break again somehow

I swore I was ready for this
When I felt so alone
But now you're hear, I don't know
It feels safer on my own

You barely know me, is that how it should be?

I give too much, I give too much
I give too much away
I give too much, I give too much
For you to want to stay

I'm afraid I'm gonna change
Afraid I'm gonna lose myself again
Just when I fought so hard to get back up

I give too much, I give too much
I give too much away
I give too much, I give too much
For you to want to stay (x2)
Track Name: Feeling Alive
I've had better days, I've felt the sun and I chased the rays
And I swore one day that I could catch a hold of one
But today is not that day, I love to feel but I hate the pain
And I hate that I would have no other way
And his voice so beautiful
But only when I see it is only when I need it
And I need it but I don't deserve the love he brings

Am I alone in thinking that I'm gone?
When I wake again tomorrow, will I hate what I've become?
I know I must be strong, 'cause this won't last for long
And sometimes wanting to die is feeling alive

They ask me why I hurt and I try so hard to wipe off the dirt
But it feels like it's forever under my skin
What's the point anyway? If I'm not okay, then I'm not okay
If I pretend that I can't lose, I'll never win

Am I alone in thinking that I'm gone?
When I wake again tomorrow, will I hate what I've become?
I know I must be strong, 'cause this won't last for long
And sometimes wanting to die is feeling alive

I know they're staring at my face
And wondering how I've lost my place
I can't convince you I'm okay
But I know I'll be fine one day

'Cause I'm not alone in thinking that I'm gone
And when I wake again someday, I won't hate what I've become
And I will still be strong, 'cause this won't last for long
And sometimes wanting to die is feeling alive
Sometimes wanting to die is feeling alive
Track Name: Not My Fault
Life was good when I had something
That I could rely on
A soft touch, a steady crutch
To cling to when I needed to

But you took everything I had
You showed no mercy when I softly cried
And I remember everything I didn't want to let inside my mind

You knew it, oh you had to
When I was speechless and uncertain
Oh how generous of you to give me such a burden

I've been let down, so I let go
Of ever trusting anyone
Isn't this so fun? Having no one
You can bet I've tried a million times
You see the trouble in my eyes
Trying to apologize in the mirror
For something I didn't

You took everything I had
You showed no mercy when I softly cried
And I remember everything
I didn't want to let inside my mind

It's not my fault.
Track Name: Always Love Me (Piano Version)
I didn't hear you leave, snuck out so peacefully
Unlike you, at night I sleep
Ever since that day, til the sunrise I'm awake
Maybe I can catch your gaze before you turn away

Why did you say you'd always love me, love me
Turned me into a fool and then you judged me, judged me
How did you break your words so easily?
Why did you say you'd never leave?

Minutes turn to days, can't remember your face
When was the last time that I cried?
And though we both moved on, I'm obsessed with what went wrong
Another mystery has yet to be undone

Why did you say you'd always love me, love me
Turned me into a fool and then you judged me, judged me
How did you break your words so easily?
Why did you say you'd never leave?

It was you, it was me, it was everything I couldn't be
It was you, it wasn't me, it wasn't me, was it me?

Why did you say you'd always love me, love me
Turned me into a fool and then you judged me, judged me
How did you break your words so easily?
Why did you say you'd never leave?

You never said you'd always love me, love me
It's just what I believed